Marty and Priscilla discuss the hilarity and horrors of potty training. Get ready for a laugh, this one may be our funniest episode so far!
Mom Rage: Tips for Dealing with Anger
Boy, oh boy, do I get the mom rage. The baby has been crying all morning, I haven’t showered or even brushed my teeth, someone got green crayon on the wall, and my darling 4 year old refuses to use the bathroom. The rage is coming. I feel it: I am going to yell. “GET IN THAT BATHROOM AND DO YOUR POTTY JOBS!”
Obviously, I hate those moments. They don’t happen all the time, but when they do, it leaves me with a sick feeling. Feeling that I needed control so badly, I resorted to yelling. In times when there is danger (i.e. running towards the street like my 1 yr old desperately wants to do), yelling can be the quickest and most effective remedy, but other than that, it is a terrible tactic to get your kids to listen to you. For me personally, these moments happen more often when I am overly tired or stressed. So my number one tip for dealing with anger is: get enough rest, and if you don’t get enough rest (because, hello, babies), relax your standards and take some sort of break. Sometimes, if I am feeling overly tired or overwhelmed, I will seriously tell the kids, “Look, mommy is tired. I am going to lay down and close my eyes on this couch. I will get up and play with you in five minutes and we can all be happy again.” Then, I do it. I lay down, set a timer, and usually feel like 3% better, which is enough to keep the drama at bay. I MAY ALSO EAT SOME CHOCOLATE, DON’T JUDGE ME. It’s so hard to keep up with all the things: taking care of the house, spending time actually playing with the kids, doing educational things with them, getting needed items at the store, providing nutritious meals, etc, etc, the list of the things moms are supposed to be doing gets longer everyday. Decide what is important for your family and relax those standards to give yourself a little breathing room! My second tip is to truly investigate your stressors and what causes you to lose your cool. Find ways to avoid or decrease those particular situations. For me, this is the bathroom. The kids often dawdle and we are always trying to get to someone’s check-up/haircut and, of course, we are running late. Recently, I’ve been sending them one at a time to the bathroom and it has helped in the daytime. A while back we began more routine potty breaks in the daytime and they are sometimes less reluctant since it is at the same time every day. My third tip comes from Daniel Tiger’s neighborhood. Yep, you read that right. “When you feel so mad that you want to roar, take a deep breath, and count to four.” Basically, have a set breathing exercise that you do when you feel the rage coming, or a silly phrase. I’m not kidding, I frequently belt out “Oh Susannah” in a large vibrato voice when I really want to yell “IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING, I JUST WASHED THOSE SHEETS AND NOW I HAVE TO SCRUB THE MARKER OFF THE TABLE AND WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO MAKE FOR DINNER TONIGHT!” Everyone laughs and I realize all the stuff I’m frustrated about is really just stuff. Saving the best for last: PRAY. Sometimes, just a quick glance up and “God, grant me some patience,” makes all the difference in my attitude. And, at the end of the day, if some yelling happened, forgive yourself, because holding on to the guilt will just cause more stress! We just do our best for these little creatures!
Episode 3: Screen Time
Marty and Priscilla talk about recommendations for screen time and what they do with their own families.
Episode 2: Travel
Marty and Priscilla talk about the realities of traveling with young children. It CAN be fun! Well, maybe if fun means bearable.
Episode 1
Listen to our first episode as we introduce our plans for this fun podcast about motherhood in all its glory!
Valentine’s Day Chocolates
I have a deep and meaningful love for chocolate. When my oldest son was diagnosed with a milk allergy, it quickly became apparent that most chocolate bought in the regular old grocery store contains milk or is made on shared lines with milk. Although my son has never had a cross contamination reaction and we have not eliminated milk from our home, I feel uncomfortable buying him chocolate made on shared lines with milk chocolate because I figure, it’s all chocolate, would the factory really clean in between? Our local grocery store carries dairy free chocolate chips and a few very expensive chocolate treats. The thing is, when it comes to the holidays, there are no cute little chocolate hearts, bunnies, Frankensteins, or Santas readily available. So I learned how to make them myself! It is way cheaper than the online options and I make different flavors which is fun! I have been wanting to write this post for a long time, because every holiday, someone else in the Deliciously Dairy Free Facebook group always asks about making chocolates! I hope this post inspires you to make your own chocolates for someone special (or for yourself!) Once you get the hang of tempering the chocolate the possibilities are endless!
The first thing you need is a thermometer. You can use a real candy thermometer, but I’ve also used a meat thermometer with success. The second thing you need is chocolate! I buy Pascha brand 55% cacao chocolate chips. They are dairy free and have a really nice flavor. I know many people use Enjoy Life chocolate chips to make chocolate, also. Milk-lovers can use whatever other kinds of chocolate chips you like! Just be careful as some have a wax coating that won’t temper as nicely. I like either Baker’s chocolate or Ghirardelli. Next, you need a double boiler, or a heat-proof bowl set over a saucepan of gently boiling water. Then you need some kind of mold. I may or may not have a problem saying NO to a variety of cute molds and cookie cutters. The most versatile, however, is a silicone mini-muffin pan. You can make a several different items in it, the chocolate pops right out, and they are easy to find. If you want to up the fun factor, I like the Silikomart molds or the Cybrtrayd molds. Amazon has them with so many cool shapes. The last items needed are some freezer bags and a good spatula. Optional items to go in the chocolates: peanut butter filling, truffle filling, almond butter filling, raisins, Rice Krispies, coconut flakes, and nuts. At Easter, I also buy little foil wrappers so I can put the chocolates in my son’s basket. I usually buy them with a coupon at Michael’s.
STEP ONE: Assemble ingredients. You will need at least 8 oz of chocolate chips. I usually use two full bags which are 8.8 oz each. If you are making filled cups, make the filling first. In a stand mixer place: 2/3 cup peanut/almond butter, 3/4 cup powdered sugar, 2 tablespoons softened butter (or DF margarine/coconut oil), and a 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla. Mix well until you can roll or smush into a ball. I usually fiddle with it and add a little more butter or powdered sugar to get the right consistency. You can also make my chocolate truffle filling. (Note, the chocolate truffle filling should be stored in the fridge.) Grab anything else you may want to add and set it out so that it’s ready to put in your chocolate!
STEP TWO: Melt about half of your chocolate chips over gently boiling water.
You want the chocolate to reach between 114°F and 118°F. (If it goes higher, it will seize (burn), thicken, and you won’t be able to pour into a mold. I have definitely had this happen and it is majorly heartbreaking.) Then REMOVE from the heat and add the rest of your chocolate and use a spatula to stir around and around and back and forth to temper the chocolate until it reaches 88°F-89°F. The fresh chocolate chips will melt into the chocolate and bring the temperature down. If you need to heat it back up a little to get them all to melt, that’s fine, but don’t let the temperature go over 90°F.
Now it is ready to use! It seems ridiculous, I get it. Tempering the chocolate this way is what gives the chocolate that nice snap when you bite into it. If you mess it up, it will still taste good, because, hello, it’s chocolate. The texture and look won’t be as nice, that’s all.
STEP THREE: To fill the chocolates, I have success using a ladle to put the melted chocolate into a freezer bag, zipping the top and cutting a tiny hole in the corner. (If you pour directly from the pan into a bag/bowl, make sure the bottom of your pan is dry! If the condensation from sitting over the boiling water gets into your chocolate it will seize AKA be ruined and you will cry. Yes, this has happened to me.)
Pastry bags are obviously better, but I ran out of those months ago. To make a basic chocolate, fill each candy mold to the top. Then gently shake the mold back and forth on the counter/table to release any bubbles. If you are using a mini-muffin pan, I would only fill those about halfway. Set in the refrigerator for about 8 minutes. To make filled cups: pour chocolate into each muffin mold enough to coat the bottom and up the sides a bit.
(Here I used herb freezing trays because they pop out a little easier, but its just about the same size.) Turn the mold around gently in your hands to get the chocolate to creep up the sides. Set in the fridge. Remove from fridge and put desired filling in each cup, pressing it down a bit.
Then fill the rest with chocolate, shake gently to get rid of any bubbles, and set in fridge. To add fun mixings in: I fill the bottom with a little chocolate, set it in the fridge to have a nice smooth top/bottom.
Then I add the raisins/krispies/coconut flakes/nuts, and finally, fill the rest of the way with the chocolate, shake out bubbles, and set in fridge.
Here are my final products from my latest cooking session with my oldest! I was supposed to get a heart shaped mold that I wanted to use for this post. It isn’t arriving until March! So I used some Pascha dairy free white chocolate baking chips to give these some pink hearts. I just melted the chips in the microwave gently, added some red food coloring and made a tiny heart in the bottom of the mold and set it in the fridge. Once you gain a little confidence, you can have fun being creative with it!
10 Steps to Getting a Workout (Young motherhood edition)
Well, January is nearly over, and I am just now being semi-serious about getting exercise. Mostly because my pants are still tight around the middle and I don’t feel like buying new pants. Because, well, dressing rooms. Fluorescent lights. The horror! In any case as I prepared for my workout this morning I chuckled about the extra steps needed when you have little kids roaming around the house. I thought other people could use a laugh also, so:
Steps to Getting a Workout (Young motherhood edition)
1.) Put baby to sleep for nap, if at all possible! (Whenever I try to workout with the baby he just wants to crawl on me!)
2.) Force other children to use the bathroom.
3.) Change out of pajamas into semi-clean workout outfit. (which may or may not consist of stretch pants from your high school Colorguard uniform.)
4.) Use the bathroom yourself and put a panty liner in because you have had multiple children and your bladder always loses the battle against jumping jacks.
5.) Turn on workout routine on the TV amidst begging to watch The Magic School Bus.
6.) Get some water because you may not survive this.
7.) Shove toys out of the way and miss the first 30 seconds of warm up, but you are NOT rewinding.
8.) Sweat from beginning to end since this is your first workout in a week. Or two.
9.) Stop in the middle several times to find a random toy/get child off table/solve toy dispute.
10.) Success! The baby did not wake up, even though you shook the house with your jumping. QUICK, GET A SHOWER BEFORE THE BABY AWAKES.
Vegan Blueberry Muffins
Mmmm crunchy top, fluffy middle!
I’m not going to lie: vegan baking is tricky. Due to the kids food allergies I have experimented with a variety of baked goods being made vegan, gluten-free, dairy free, etc. By far the hardest thing to substitute for is the egg! Hopefully the youngest will pass the baked egg challenge in February! Anyway, after making two vegan birthday cakes in December that were just okay, I wanted to fiddle around and find something truly delicious to make for the kids (and mommy and daddy, let’s be honest!) Although blueberries disappear pretty quickly around here, we still had some a few days after the grocery store trip and I decided to make some blueberry muffins. My mom made these great muffins fairly often when we were growing up, so I was hoping for the best as I “veganized” her recipe. This was the first baked good recipe I EVER made that my husband said “You would never know these weren’t regular muffins.” Of course, he meant regular as in made with milk and eggs, they weren’t regular in taste! Fluffy inside with a crunchy top and, as my four-year old said: “Blueberry jelly inside.” The ingredients are simple and they are so easy. If you are in need of a first attempt at vegan baking due to allergies, lack of ingredients (who hasn’t run out of eggs!?) or trying out a new lifestyle choice, I guarantee you can’t go easier than this!
SEE HOW FLUFFY!
[amd-zlrecipe-recipe:7]
The Cost
Items I do NOT know the cost of:
- gallon of gas (it’s not like I have time to shop around for this and I’m watching the kids through the car window as I pump)
- drink at the bar (haha)
- latest new phone (not going to happen and fancy things are magnets for childhood clumsiness)
- stocks (I just smile when my husband and father-in-law talk about them)
- a new car (my minivan is the bomb, obviously)
Items I DO know the cost of:
- box of diapers (duh)
- box of baby wipes (also, duh)
- graham crackers/Oreos/bananas/noodles (you know, the toddler food groups)
- allergen free foods (yay! food allergies! yay!)
- 12 pack of Diet Pepsi (because this mom needs caffeine)
Working Out Mama
Last week I was talking with some other young mothers about body image and how it changes after you have children. It is so hard to feel positive about all the new stuff: squishy belly, saggy little breasts, saddlebags, stretch marks, etc. Yes, mothers are so grateful for their children and we don’t want to erase the effect it has had on our bodies. Yet, it can be struggle to accept your new shell. I firmly believe that every woman should not agonize over the look of the body and instead on how they feel in their body. Do you have energy to get through your day? Do you feel healthy? Are you happy in the rest of your life? Those are the important things! All that being said, if you find some determination to get some more exercise while corralling your kids all day, here are a few suggestions.
Firstly: pick something you actually like to do. Back in college I occasionally went to the gym with my roommates, but it never stuck. Using the elliptical machines and treadmills was boring and I never got into it. In between baby #2 and baby #3, I found a Pilates routine that I loved from www.fitnessblender.com. I did it almost every day for like 3 months and I fit back into a bunch of old clothes! It was great because I just got a yoga mat out and did the routine in the living room with the kids playing. Right now I am into kickboxing and Pilates (also from fitnessblender.com.) I love the kickboxing! It is a great core workout and calorie burner. It is tricky because I really can only do it when the baby is napping, but I fit it in whenever I can because it makes me feel confident!
Once you find something YOU like, figure out how to work it into your day. Some parents do early morning running or trips to the gym. Some are night owls and go late at night. Taking walks with the kids is good exercise, though not quite as calorie burning if that is what you are looking for. We are mourning the loss of the evening walk as it gets darker earlier every night! Personally, I do kickboxing when the baby takes his morning nap. I seriously shove toys out of the way in the living room, bring up YouTube on the TV and turn on the workout I want to do with the volume on low. Sometimes the boys try to do the moves with me and it’s hilarious. Other days they won’t leave me alone and I end up yelling at them to “go to the other side of the room to play! You have plenty of space over there!” Still other days the baby wakes up halfway through, so I quit the kickboxing and do Pilates instead and everyone crawls all over me. Basically it is a zoo, but it’s my zoo and I love it! Sometimes I also do yoga with the kids. Seriously, search YouTube for Cosmic Kids Yoga: it’s adorable and my kids love it. They even have Star Wars and Frozen routines!
Finally, staying motivated is the hardest mountain to climb. I think if you can commit yourself to at least two weeks of exercising as many days as you can, it helps you create enough of a habit that you can stick with it better. Then, getting in a workout three times a week doesn’t seem so difficult! Having a buddy is a wonderful way to stay motivated. My two friends and I worked out together this summer. We had so much fun and we still send the occasional sweaty selfie to help each other keep it up! Hey, I will be your buddy if you need one! Having attainable goals and holding yourself accountable is helpful also. I also think that eating better helps, because you have more energy for the workout and you’ll have better results. Results always help me stay motivated!
Good luck staying active!
Pilates with mommy
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